Monday, December 27, 2010

of art purchases and getting better

my loot during CF!

and my prints are all elegantly decorating my cupboard doors <3 <3 <3
and i think you can see that i <3 kidchan a LOT. i got her autograph! /runs around flailing arms
i actually have another doujin i bought but i'm too lazy to take another picture OTL

Christmas went well. the performance in church was good, and my voice didn't betray me THAT much during worship (i sang backup) and then in the choir. what a relief 8D
the actors this year were real talented. no joke. i still have goosebumps from the screams. during practice some people even went out during that segment because it was that scary.


i guess we're product of our environment. our outlook of life is shaped by the things that happen to us, the people we've met, the things we're exposed to. the music that we happen to like.
the things that we consider beautiful. the things we cannot stand. the things that we can't live without. the people we let ourselves fall in love with. the things that pull our heartstrings.

and it's cool, that if a single event in my life was removed, erased from my past, i might not be the person i am today. makes me feel that who i am today, is no coincidence. the me i am now, has been built along the way, over the span of 18 years.

sometimes i feel like too much of a mistake. sometimes i wish i could pinpoint the part when i started going wrong so i could correct it. sometimes i wish i was a little more than useless.
but i remind myself, that i won't be who i am today, if not for the little things that had happened to me all these years. no, i am not satisfied with myself, i am not pleased with myself. but i've come to accept my flaws and i'm working on correcting all my wrongs.
so yeah, i wasn't born to be wrong all life.
i'm no mistake.

i'm on my way to getting better.
thank you to all who cheered me up, you have no idea how much your words and actions helped. some of the people who helped me the most probably didn't know i was hurting, but still. <3 thank you <3

now playing : Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescense

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

of pictures and a lack of christmas cheer

 Hermes and Rina as Miku and Kaito.
it's that time of the year again. this year, i don't feel anything. no christmas cheer or whatever people call it. i bought presents, just because i wanted to spend money.

anyways, this year's Comic Fiesta was pretty cool. the crowd was seriously huge, and it was freaking hard to move about on the first day. the crowd thinned a little the next day, phew.
will update with my CF loot soon 8D

i'm somehow not feeling well, both mentally and physically OTL. sometimes i doubt myself too much, sometimes i lose myself too fast, too soon. i haven't been drawing, most of the time when i pick up my pencil, my brain goes 'it's just not worth it'. oh well. let's hope this period of time will pass soon and i'll be able to draw freely again. a something is holding me back, who knows what that something is. maybe it is nothing, but my own stubborn self, unwilling to give in.

i think i found a new hobby. i like editting photos now lol OTL. i'm currently editting the pictures Mun2 wants and i find it fun lol. i like making everyone prettier wee.


Friday, December 17, 2010

if there is a photographer whom i had always admired, it has to be Jingna
i cannot help but be amazed at every picture she produces. her photography is dream-like, serene, tranquil and always beautiful. but i am not only a fan of her work, i am also a fan of who she is; she is strong, humble and beautiful inside out.
some pictures from her recent editorial in SingaporeBrides titled 1000 roses.

doesn't she just take your breath away? Jingna, you continue to inspire me with every photograph you take, every moment that you capture <3

Monday, December 13, 2010

of thank yous and two pictures

 an incomplete work, but i don't think i'll go any further, so...
thank you, for all the birthday wishes. =)
i wanted to draw a happy girl but.. @@
editted with (check it out at all iphone users!)

Friday, December 10, 2010

of meeting him and my birthday

this is gonna be a post that is centered on MBLAQ. if you A) don't like them or B) cannot stand my fangirl side, please skip the post till the picture of me ;D 
see? i'm making your life easier. 
if you can't read Korean; it says MBLAQ on the top (em-beul-raek) and from left to right, G.O, Seungho, Joon, Mir, and Cheondung. =)
last weekend, i was over at singapore to catch a concert, Mnet Ultimate Live in Asia - Singapore, to be exact. i normally steer away from huge crowds and concerts but i absolutely had to go for this one.. because MBLAQ was in the lineup! <3
though i totally am displeased that they were the opening act =(
anyways, i went over across the border with my family and mun2 since she loves me too much 8D
a few days before the concert, the organisers announced that MBLAQ and some of the others were gonna hold fanmeets @@
i just HAD to be there for the MBLAQ one. a chance to see my Seungho upclose? (I hi-5ed him, Joon and Thunder and shook hands with G.O and Mir's fingers were over mine btw 8DDD)
i wouldn't miss such a chance @@ not when it was totally in my grasp.. and i was fortunate enough to check that page and catch that announcement just 1 minute after it was posted. first come first serve basis, you see.
my MULA ticket was sponsored by my sweetheart baby, my fanmeet album was sponsored by my mom. so basically the trip was almost.. free for me 8D
the fanmeet was surreal. when the guys entered. and then when they stood on the stage. it's hard to believe, but they are better looking in real life. like seriously. and i thought that the fanaccounts from Thailand were exaggerating.
their outfits were so much <3
credit :
Mir, G.O, Seungho <3, Joon, Thunder
credit :
 i love you, stylist, don't ever change, i totally adore your use of white on black. <3 i like how the styles complement their personalities and body shapes. The metal studs and two-toned collar downplays Mir's cute chubby face, the white simple shirt with black buttons was perfect for suave G.O, Seungho's neck is accentuated with that collar, the white scarf frames and highlights Joon's face, and the usage of details like the tie and the white breast pocket on Thunder helped to fill up the empty spaces since he's tall and has broad shoulders.
too bad i didn't catch a glimpse of bear-manager, i wanted so much to meet him, i don't even know why OTL i don't think he came to SG with the guys :( (EDIT = oh i just checked the pictures Mun2 took during the fanmeet. he was right there behind Mir, if i'm not mistaken.) 
 due to shortage of time, they were made to sign on the front page ;A;
Cheondung's pen had no more ink lol.. the other A+ were also laughing about it <3
thanks to the only-thinking-about-profit organisers, i had to buy another version of their album. i already have the Malaysian version of Just BLAQ, the Korean versions of Just BLAQ and Y and now i have the "Asian Special Edition" OTL. which costs freaking $60. oh well, i didn't pay for it 8D

the concert was awesome blossom, MBLAQ went first, followed by Miss A, 2AM, Beast and ended with 2PM. everyone performed so well <3
credit : 
 credit :
i got to see Joon's ballet performance LIVE. the guy's too talented. it was superbbbbb! but the annoying Beast fans to my left kinda snickered which made me kinda pissed. but oh well, haters gonna hate. Joon performed barefooted or so it seemed. we were pretty far from the stage so i'm not real sure. maybe he left the black ballet shoes that he wore during the concert in Taiwan back in Korea lol. everyone else was perfect, as expected. Mun2 and I generally do not like Beast; she likes 2NE1, Big Bang, 2AM, 2PM and Miss A and i converted her into a MBLAQ fan during the trip and i like MBLAQ, Epik High, Drunken Tiger, and IU. so when it was Beast's turn to perform, we didn't cheer much, just clapped to be polite (or at least i did). the crowd started pushing madly and that made the experience sour. such rude fans =( i really want to try to like the group that MBLAQ is close with but their fans ain't helping lol. 2AM and 2PM were awesome. undoubtedly. so was Miss A. they really had stage presence. 2PM utilised the stage perfectly wee! my favourite part during 2PM's slot was when they started putting on angel wings. DAMN CUTE LOL.
to end that Korean filled night, Mun2 and i had some instant Korean ramen for supper OTL. so perfect 8D
they stamped on us for the fanmeet lol. 
of course, i did some shopping and such.. which i had to use my own money ;A; i missed Kaiser so much that when i went into MANGO and saw this sweater with a german shepherd cross-stitched on it, i absolutely had to buy it (though i was pretty sure the price would have been cheaper back in Msia) and just HAD TO wear it the next day ;A; 
on my birthday eve, after walking around, laughing our asses off at Crazy Christmas 2010 and a pretty late dinner, we finally settled back in our hotel room..
my parents had bought me two bottles of coke while i was out during the concert and i was aching for coke, but i like them chilled, so i opened the cupboard that contained the fridge. Mun2 looked up from the laptop, and shouted, "DON'T OPEN! THERE'S A COCKROACH INSIDE!!" with all her might and i slammed the cupboard shut. i was damn terrified, alot of people can testify to my cockroach phobia.. she picked the right thing to say lol. i was pretty damn pissed, there was a tiny hole in the curtain and then now there was a cockroach in the fridge? i was gonna call reception to complain.. luckily, i was still in a nice little mood so i just pushed it aside and made a mental note to put the coke in my parent's room later. (which i totally forgot about and ended up drinking it like that for breakfast the next day lol)
slightly after midnight, i was curled up in bed reading Freakonomics when Mun2 crouched down in front of the fridge and pulled out the "cockroach". the damn thing i was supposedly afraid of was a pretty white strawberry shortcake lol. it even had an imaginary flame to go with it.
thanks baby <3 I love you lots lots lots lots too <3
later we went back to KL for my birthday dinner at Michelangelo's at Pavillion since i wanted Italian lol. in the car, my parents realized how bizarre the day's meals would be, we had breakfast in Singapore, lunch in Johor, dinner in KL, and supper in Kajang lol. i can't express how much i adore Italian food OTL even now, just thinking of it makes my mouth water @@

ah so, this wraps up our short little trip. thank you, parents and Mun2 baby for this huge birthday present <3
and i'm sorry, bin hao, for forgetting to inform you about going down @@ it totally slipped my minddd =(

art-wise, i have been unproductive, i've been giving myself a pretty hard time with such frustrating emotions lol. i really don't like it when my parents discuss my future with others, leaving me out of the conversation but within hearing range and i can hear bits and pieces of their conversation. alot of this happened in SG, when my parents conversed with their friends there because now my mom thinks that i should go to NUS. but fret not, i am okay, i am fine. i'm drawing my 'thank you for the birthday wishes' drawing right now, so i should be alright =).

okay, this has been an unusually long post for me.