Friday, August 27, 2010

of old and new drawings

added two koigoldfishes, just because.
fixed the face, much more pleased with her expression.. i have no idea about wht she's gonna wear.. unfinished crap. i am itching to add like 129837193817 koigoldfishes, but something is telling me to learn how to draw other animals. i'm thinking elephants or crows.
when i'm stuck, i draw clothes. it's great to get my gears set. please ignore the ugly shit at the furthest right. i don't even...
if i still don't get anything, i start doing other things. like for this instance, i started cutting circles with a circle cutter lol.. and then drew on it.
and then when some certain individuals come and screw my feelings up, i released my anger by making my pencils blunt lol.

yeah. i washed two cars in the dead of the night yesterday. how fun.
kaiser is a super helpful dog, he helps my mom take out the clothes from the washing machine and dryer. 'good' doggy =D

i don't draw as well as i used to draw. =/
oh well....


Sunday, August 22, 2010

joon dancing ;A;

joon's solo during the concert in taiwan. i find him most beautiful when i see him dance. <3
and and seungho's touch me danceeeeeeee... *spazzes again* i need a clearer video of eet... AAAAHHHHH

Saturday, August 21, 2010

of his new journey and headaches

because the sky i see is mine to touch. i will not let your words pull me down. i will not let them get into my head. it's a little too late to say you're sorry now. it's super cool to see that he has moved forward, that he has begun living his dream. true, it makes me slightly jealous that he is going further than i ever could. but i'm proud and happy for him.
my brain feels like mashed potatoes again. i think it's reacting to the recent lack of coke. it hurtsssssssssss.... i tried sleeping, but the pounding doesn't let me sleep. and i don't want to take too much panadols lol.
urgh whatever.
work in progress. the nose is damn ugly. the face proportion looks damn out. too lazy to take Shinoda II out so i just snapped it with Blind Apples lol.. (blind apples is my iphone LOL)

alright now, let's go try getting rid of this stupid headache with a bath!

Monday, August 16, 2010

of restorations and being wrong

at the Great Wall. notice my other two cousins in the background. OTL

i'll get through this and get something right for once.
because you see, i was not born to be wrong all the time.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

of fixations and the truth

i have the cat scarf in black too now.
my fixation with cats remains =D

"When you grind for too long, you get caught up and bitter.
Cliche sometimes is knowledge. Be true to yourself and others.
Practice, create and love."
- Drunken Tiger

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

a bottle of coke from china lol..
doggies from camp a year or two ago.. i cannot remember anymore.

my concept of time is so warped up that i cannot judge today from yesterday or tomorrow. it's all jumbled up, merged together, each blended into each other. there is no distinction between day or night. it is just one solid state of time, continually passing by.
oh don't mind my mindless droning.


Saturday, August 07, 2010

some things were meant to be

random pictures from the trip to beijing =)

i'm falling back in love with you.
i'm so glad i found you.


Tuesday, August 03, 2010

of degrading and losing hope

while watching SGB today, i was drawing. i turned around and asked my sis, melanie, what she thought about this picture,
and she was like, this is so plain and ugly. and she was like, it doesn't compare with your older drawings.
then she flipped my sketchbook and she was like, for example this one.. this one is really like WOW. but that drawing just now was just bla bla only, maybe coz you haven't finished it yet..
and i was like, yeah.

few days ago, after completing this picture,
for MBLAQ's first year anniversary ( ^ that's Joon btw), i was like high from finally finishing it. you won't believe how many pictures i had to sort through to find that sweater he has on. i started drawing his hair in school and i didn't think that i would have any problems with his outfit later on. little did i know.. that in my picture collection, he did more of G.O.O.D Luv promotions in wavy and straight hair than curly ramen hair LOL. so he didn't wear the sweater i had in mind when he had the hair that i drew!! OTL to cut things short, drawing the sweater was tough on me. and it came out so half-assed, don't you think? to cover up my awesome fail, i even added some extra details on it lol, because it had too many empty spaces. OTL
 oh yeah, back to what i wanted to say. i was high from finally finishing it, and i was like showing it to melanie. and then melissa walked into my room and i was like, guess who is this? and she was like, Joon la. and i was like YAYYYY, she can recognise that i drew himmm <3 

uh huh, so my point is. my sisters are cool. my parents are so not.
and yeah, update on my status, my parents changed their mind about me going into art. AGAIN. i was honestly so so so so happy when they said they allowed me to go into art. lol, i couldn't draw for a few days after that, i got really depressed and shit. who wouldn't be?
and therefore, here i am, in form 6. because i find it totally stupid if i spent money, no matter whose, on something i would hate doing. it doesn't look bright from where i am looking from, i'm losing hope and all that shit. it sometimes scares me because this life that i am messing up is mine. lol.

anyways, i'm off to get distracted from the nagging feeling forming in my throat.