Monday, May 31, 2010

of being a fan and silver covers

guess what came today?! MBLAQ's first and second single albums, JUST BLAQ and Y! so shiny.. @@
thanks yen, =D
even touching it makes me smileeeee =D
ps: my bias is now seungho keke..


i'll swallow my pride, i'll pull the moon down.
i'll love her fiercely, i'll find the reasons behind her tears.
i'll know her favourite songs, i'll sing them to her under the stars.
her dreams will be mine.
i'll sleep with my eyes open, i'll listen to her soundless cries.
i'll know when she's hurt without her telling me.
i'll allow her to grow, i'll be there to see her fly.
before she falls, i'll be there with a damn trampoline.
i'll know when she lies, when she tries.
i'll know her worst moments, i'll know her best.
and try every single damn day to make her happier.
i'll paint her world in her favourite colour.
i'll be her umbrella when it rains, i'll be her friend when she needs one.
i'll be watching from the sidelines, i'll be whispering words of encouragement
to no one, knowing that she can hear them in her heart.
i'll be there with plasters when she trips, i'll make her laugh when i see a dark cloud.
i'll drive to Mars and back, i'll be back in five.
i'll believe her, i'll believe in her.

listening to : Not Afraid - Eminem

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

of observations on beauty

i'm waking up everyday and seeing so much beauty that sometimes i wish i could stop time to take it all in. there is too much beauty on this planet that i want to see and feel...
time, tick away slower... 
today i observed tiny black birds and ants. i stared at the birds for a very long time to burn the image in my head, noticing their abrupt movements and seemingly effortless flight. i watched how people interacted with each other; their animated gestures and transparent expressions. i closed my eyes, absorbed every sound i could, pleasantly suprised to hear old sounds i had not heard. when i took a breath, i smiled, just because.

thinking of all kinds of ugly things the world is facing right now, the evil and corrupt things that humans do, sometimes it's hard to think of the world as a beautiful place. but you see, really, this world couldn't be more beautiful. beauty is everywhere, you just have to look at it with the right eyes.
that's how beautiful beauty is.


Sunday, May 23, 2010

of memories and running

5 random pictures from forgotten trips; 2 hotels, a camp and another country. i don't spend as much time with Shinoda II compared to when i was with Shinoda. ahhh, first loveee =)

and just because Epik High is epic

my favourite performance of 'Y' so far. <3 i love G.O.'s eye shirt.. keke..


Wednesday, May 19, 2010


urgh, the dot on her nose is so distracting! it was some eraser thing, i think.. but i'm too lazy to take another picture..

drew the face ages ago, about the time when Mike Shinoda posted Blackbird's lyrics on his blog.. because i copied the lyrics down on the next page of my book lol.. i didn't like the face and gave up on it.
on my last day at smk raja abdullah during their teachers' day celebration, i flipped through my book and saw her face and i was like heck, her eyes are damn freaking ugly, so i tweaked them a lil and was happier. then i drew the body and hair while talking to has and sasa.. and sasa said she wanted to get pregnant after seeing me draw my scorpion hair lady LOL.. note that i mentioned that i was talking to people while i drew. normally i can't draw when i'm with people, cause i get pretty self-concious when people see me draw.. i am so amazed. i feel proud of myself LOL.
and finally added slightly more detail in the hair and camisole today at school.. a guy in my class called this ecchi. LOL. this is so not ecchi. i'm sorry, but i just have a fetish fascination with pregnant women and big messy impossible hair. i just had to put them together.


Sunday, May 16, 2010

of strong lines and contradictions

Kaiser. super fast sketch. bear with the mess. eep.

what i realized over the past few days is that when i'm angry or upset, my lines naturally get thicker and rougher.
i drew this pretty long ago while listening to No Roads Left by Linkin Park lol. and i think i was reading Persona 4? i can't remember....
he is not pleased.
drew this in school lol. she/he is not completed yet. but then have i ever completed anything?

so yeah, it's hard to follow a dream when you're just too tired to run after it. i'm not sure what the hell i'm doing, not sure where i am, not sure about what i'm going to do to get the hell out of this. i need time to put my thoughts in order, but when i have time, i distract myself from thinking about the future. LOL. my life is filled with contradictions. and before anyone asks if i'm depressed or anything, i'm not! it's just a little tiresome waiting.

01101001 00100000 01101110 01100101 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101000 01100101 01101100 01110000


Sunday, May 09, 2010

of silent feelings and nothing else

ya know, i wish i could tell you that i'm hurting. that you're hurting me.
but i was never one who liked to talk anyways.
so here, deal with my silence.

it's better than the harsh words i have for you.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

of being tired and being tied down

drew this a few days back. i know her head is too big, i know her arm looks too wrong. =/
i was too tired and down to care.

but i am better now. because MBLAQ released a picture and a video teaser!
see their suits? they are the same ones they wore during the concert in thailand. seongho's sleeve looks familiar. i need to go find which designer it's from lol.
i wish they would wear more Henrik Vibskov though.. XD
stylist nuna, make them wear more John Galliano PLEASEEEEE..


Wednesday, May 05, 2010

of overusage and cupboard doors

here i find myself itching for more Haruki Murakami books. here i find myself wishing to take up the japanese language again so i can read the originals. here i find myself listening to music loudly so i wouldn't hear my own thoughts. here i find myself wanting to go to a bookstore for more comics and books. here i find myself going "awwww so cute" at G.O.'s shirt. here i find myself overusing the phrase 'here i find myself'. here i find myself not caring.

anyways, here i find myself showing you my cupboard doors.
ignore my tired face, i just felt like my blog has been deprived of my face for far too long =D

there is an abundance of kiDChan, a sprinkle of Benjamin Zhang, Ciaae,  Kinsun Loh, Heiseijinyao and Bram Lee. some are prints bought at ACG events or ordered, the others are pages from books. LOL. thrifty? yes.
(from left to right, top to bottom ; kiDChan, Benjamin, Ciaae, Bram, Ciaae, Kinsun, Ciaae, KiDChan, Heiseijinyao, kiDChan, kiDChan, kiDChan, Kinsun)

the people that are gracing my cupboard doors are awesome people. and mostly malaysian. the exceptions are benjamin and heiseijinyao. this is probably the only aspect i love about malaysia. hmm.


Sunday, May 02, 2010

of waiting and saving

today for the first time, i dreamt that i saved someone. instead of killing someone, instead of seeing someone die, instead of attending someone's funeral, instead of falling, instead of finding brains lol. i am so happy that i am smiling from ear to ear. don't ask why i'm so happy just because of a dream. things don't have to make sense to me, things don't make sense in this world anyway.

i just have to wait a little more.

my youngest sister, Melissa.